They never told me who I was.
This poem explores the complex themes of identity, masculinity, and family dynamics, particularly focusing on the absence of a father figure. The speaker reflects on how societal expectations have shaped their identity, emphasizing the roles they were told to play rather than who they truly are. The poem discusses the internalization of strength and silence as coping mechanisms, suggesting that these traits were not chosen but assigned. The absence of a father is portrayed not as a dramatic event but as a consistent void that the speaker had to navigate independently. The mother and sisters play significant roles in the speaker's upbringing, teaching resilience and strength. The poem uses vivid imagery and metaphors, such as 'flat-pack masculinity' and 'silence that behaves,' to convey the struggle of conforming to societal norms while losing one's true self. The speaker questions the nature of their identity, pondering whether they have become who they are or if they are still pretending to be someone they were told to be. The poem's structure, with its free verse and varied sections, reflects the fragmented and evolving nature of the speaker's self-discovery.
| Word | Easy Meaning | Translation | Pron. |
|---|---|---|---|
| assigned | given | given a role or task | uh-sahynd |
| resilience | strength | ability to recover quickly | ri-zil-yuhns |
| masculinity | manliness | qualities associated with being male | mas-kyuh-lin-i-tee |
| composed | calm | calm and in control | kuhm-pohzd |
| identity | self | who someone is | ahy-den-ti-tee |
| performing | acting | acting or doing something | per-fawr-ming |
| exhaustion | tiredness | extreme tiredness | ig-zaws-chuhn |
| silence | quiet | absence of sound | sahy-luhns |
| stern | strict | serious and strict | sturn |
| translate | convert | change into another form | trans-leyt |
| behaves | acts | acts in a certain way | bi-heyvz |
| consistency | regularity | being the same over time | kuhn-sis-tuhn-see |
| rehearsing | practicing | practicing repeatedly | ri-hurs-ing |
| absorb | take in | take in or soak up | ab-sawrb |
| calm | peaceful | peaceful and quiet | kahm |
The poet's identity is not specified, and the poem appears to be a contemporary work reflecting on themes of identity, masculinity, and family dynamics.