Analyse poétique

ASHES (Metamorphosis)

Original Poetry

Translation

ASHES (Metamorphosis)

Dreams are like the sound of a bugle calling.

©Elias Skrive

A loud call waking from a cowardly sleep.

The dream is the bugle’s call,

The leader's encouragement brings out a hero from inside.

A clarion stirring from cowardly sleep.

A strong belief to drop bombs like storms of revenge.

The commandant’s pep siring a hero from within;

The courage to shoot bullets like judgments.

A conviction to rain bombs as avenging storms,

Protecting and serving is all that matters, so nothing should fall but ashes.

A gumption to spit bullets as judgments.

Protecting and serving is all that matters, for nothing must fall except ashes.

Reality turns into shells and screams: a harsh awakening from tired sleep.

The duty drives through intense battles, a strong mix of fear and desire to fight.

Reality becomes shells and screams: a brutal awakening from tired sleep.

Blood and smoke make sanity hard to breathe; the dead friends and enemies haunt the mind.

The drug of duty pushes through heated battles, a potent concoction of fear and bloodlust.

Each battle becomes a bloody prayer to death.

Blood and smoke choke the throat of the sanity; the corpses of friends and foes haunt the conscience,

The trenches become muddy homes to think about

As each battle becomes a bloody supplication to death.

If protecting and serving is all that matters, now that everything is turning into ashes.

The trenches become muddy homes to wonder

If protecting and serving is all that matters, now that everything is falling into ashes.

An unrecognized hero returns safely.

His sleep looks for the smiles of peace.

An unsung hero makes it back in one piece,

The nights are just haunting daytimes;

His slumbers seeking the smiles of peace.

The days are just tiring naps, as familiar sounds remind of shells and screams.

The nights are nothing but haunting daytimes;

Still, the family's touch comforts from the haunting memories of the fallen.

The days are nothing but tiring dozes, as homely sounds taunt the memories of shells and screams.

The happy laughter of children turns explosions into healing music;

Still, the familial touch soothes from the haunting embrace of the fallen.

For it is all that matters, to protect and serve, or everything will turn into ashes.

The joyful laughter of children turning explosions into redeeming music;

For it is all that matters, to protect and serve, lest everything fall into ashes.

The sample given above was personally written for a poetry contest. However, I need a sincere rating between 1-10 given to gauge its eligibility as a contest entry based on its tone, style, theme, rhythm, punctuation, and overall structure.

Explanation

The poem 'ASHES (Metamorphosis)' by Elias Skrive explores the transformation of individuals through the harsh realities of war. It begins with the metaphor of a dream as a bugle call, symbolizing the awakening of courage and heroism within a soldier. The poem describes the intense conviction and courage required to engage in battle, where protecting and serving are paramount. As the poem progresses, it shifts from the idealistic call to arms to the brutal reality of war, characterized by shells, screams, and the haunting memories of fallen comrades. The imagery of blood and smoke choking sanity highlights the psychological toll of war. The poem concludes with the return of an unsung hero, who struggles with the memories of war but finds solace in the familial touch and the laughter of children. The recurring theme of 'protecting and serving' underscores the soldier's duty, while the phrase 'lest everything fall into ashes' serves as a poignant reminder of the fragility of peace and the destructive nature of war. The poem's free verse structure and vivid imagery effectively convey the emotional and psychological complexities of a soldier's experience, making it a powerful reflection on the impact of war.

Word Dictionary14

Word	Easy Meaning	Translation	Pron.
bugle’s	trumpet's	a brass instrument used for military signals	byoo-gul's
clarion	clear	a clear and loud sound	klar-ee-un
commandant’s	leader's	a commanding officer	kuh-man-dant's
pep	energy	liveliness or enthusiasm	pep
siring	creating	bringing into being	sahy-ring
gumption	courage	courage and initiative	guhmp-shun
concoction	mixture	a mix of different things	kuhn-kok-shun
supplication	prayer	a humble prayer	sup-li-key-shun
slumbers	sleeps	times of sleep	sluhm-burz
haunting	disturbing	disturbing and recurring	hawn-ting
taunt	mock	tease or mock	tawnt
familial	family-related	related to family	fuh-mil-ee-ul
redeeming	saving	making up for faults	ri-deem-ing
lest	in case	to avoid the risk of	lest

Poet & Context

PoetElias Skrive

EraContemporary

Elias Skrive is a contemporary poet whose work often explores themes of war, duty, and transformation. Despite the lack of a dedicated Wikipedia page, his poetry reflects a deep engagement with the human condition and the consequences of conflict.

WhenContemporary period

WhyThe poem 'ASHES (Metamorphosis)' appears to be a reflection on the transformation of individuals through the experience of war. It explores the themes of duty, heroism, and the haunting aftermath of conflict, suggesting a personal or broader societal commentary on the impact of war.

FormFree verse

Themes & More

Themes

WarHeroismDutyTransformationMemory

Literary devices

Metaphor: The dream is the bugle’s call.Imagery: Blood and smoke choke the throat of the sanity.Personification: The drug of duty pushes through heated battles.Repetition: Protecting and serving is all that matters.Alliteration: Blood and smoke choke the throat.

Analyse poétique

ASHES (Metamorphosis)

Original Poetry

Translation

ASHES (Metamorphosis)

Dreams are like the sound of a bugle calling.

©Elias Skrive

A loud call waking from a cowardly sleep.

The dream is the bugle’s call,

The leader's encouragement brings out a hero from inside.

A clarion stirring from cowardly sleep.

A strong belief to drop bombs like storms of revenge.

The commandant’s pep siring a hero from within;

The courage to shoot bullets like judgments.

A conviction to rain bombs as avenging storms,

Protecting and serving is all that matters, so nothing should fall but ashes.

A gumption to spit bullets as judgments.

Protecting and serving is all that matters, for nothing must fall except ashes.

Reality turns into shells and screams: a harsh awakening from tired sleep.

The duty drives through intense battles, a strong mix of fear and desire to fight.

Reality becomes shells and screams: a brutal awakening from tired sleep.

Blood and smoke make sanity hard to breathe; the dead friends and enemies haunt the mind.

The drug of duty pushes through heated battles, a potent concoction of fear and bloodlust.

Each battle becomes a bloody prayer to death.

Blood and smoke choke the throat of the sanity; the corpses of friends and foes haunt the conscience,

The trenches become muddy homes to think about

As each battle becomes a bloody supplication to death.

If protecting and serving is all that matters, now that everything is turning into ashes.

The trenches become muddy homes to wonder

If protecting and serving is all that matters, now that everything is falling into ashes.

An unrecognized hero returns safely.

His sleep looks for the smiles of peace.

An unsung hero makes it back in one piece,

The nights are just haunting daytimes;

His slumbers seeking the smiles of peace.

The days are just tiring naps, as familiar sounds remind of shells and screams.

The nights are nothing but haunting daytimes;

Still, the family's touch comforts from the haunting memories of the fallen.

The days are nothing but tiring dozes, as homely sounds taunt the memories of shells and screams.

The happy laughter of children turns explosions into healing music;

Still, the familial touch soothes from the haunting embrace of the fallen.

For it is all that matters, to protect and serve, or everything will turn into ashes.

The joyful laughter of children turning explosions into redeeming music;

For it is all that matters, to protect and serve, lest everything fall into ashes.

Explanation

Word Dictionary14

Word	Easy Meaning	Translation	Pron.
bugle’s	trumpet's	a brass instrument used for military signals	byoo-gul's
clarion	clear	a clear and loud sound	klar-ee-un
commandant’s	leader's	a commanding officer	kuh-man-dant's
pep	energy	liveliness or enthusiasm	pep
siring	creating	bringing into being	sahy-ring
gumption	courage	courage and initiative	guhmp-shun
concoction	mixture	a mix of different things	kuhn-kok-shun
supplication	prayer	a humble prayer	sup-li-key-shun
slumbers	sleeps	times of sleep	sluhm-burz
haunting	disturbing	disturbing and recurring	hawn-ting
taunt	mock	tease or mock	tawnt
familial	family-related	related to family	fuh-mil-ee-ul
redeeming	saving	making up for faults	ri-deem-ing
lest	in case	to avoid the risk of	lest

Poet & Context

PoetElias Skrive

EraContemporary

WhenContemporary period

FormFree verse

Themes & More

Themes

WarHeroismDutyTransformationMemory

Literary devices